Breast cancer is a common form of cancer. According to the NHS website, (2019) 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with it. Fortunately, if found early on it can be caught and dealt with easily, and risk of death can be significantly lowered.
With this in mind, about 10 months ago I visited my GP, concerned, as I had found a lump in my breast. I hoped they would dismiss it, and tell me it was not a cause for concern.
However this was not the case. The doctor examined me and said she would refer me to the hospital. I was mildly worried, but again I hoped when I visited the hospital, they would tell me the lump was not an issue.
At the hospital a second Doctor examined it. He said that I needed further tests. I had a mixture of disappointment, anxiety and apprehension, after all I am young, fit and healthy, the chances of me developing cancer are very slim.
Over the next few months I had a further two tests, an ultrasound scan of my breasts and a tissue sample taken from the lump.
I then returned to the hospital to have a discussion with the doctor. He advised me that though they had not found cancer in the tissue sample, because the lump was so big, they wanted to remove it and fully test it in the laboratory for cancer. I had mixed feelings about this, on the one hand I knew it was important to get it checked, on the other hand surgery seemed so drastic, I felt way to young for this kind of thing to be happening to me, I felt I ought to be twenty years older.
My surgery was scheduled for 27th March. A couple of weeks before my operation was due they rang me to say it was cancelled, as they needed to operate on a more pressing case. Unfortunately I would have to wait another month. I did and again the operation was cancelled, this time due to COVID 19. I felt like this whole situation could potentially drag on for months now, and I just wanted it to be over.
2 months later in June I got a call from the hospital rescheduling my operation for the 22ed of July.
The operation was going to be under general anaesthetic. I was initially dubious about this, I’d never been under anaesthetic. The thought of not having any conscious control over my environment was unsettling. Additionally, they asked me to self-isolate for 2 weeks before, which is probably the worse thing about the whole situation. Now I would have to feel envious as my friends and family visited shops, pubs and restaurants.
They gave me a covid19 test two days before my operation which came back negative.
For my operation I had to arrive at the hospital at 7.05 in the morning, though I dreaded the early morning rise, the feeling of dread was not as bad as going to work! Besides, I had talked to my mum about the anaesthetic and she had said it was a pleasant experience. Furthermore, I was so tired from getting up early that I was actually looking forward to going back to sleep!
I went into theatre, all in all there was about five or 6 medical professionals in there. They were lovely and pleasant people, I felt like I was in a movie. They attached me up to several machines. I could hear the beep of my heart monitor. They put the oxygen mask on my face and requested that I breathe deeply. After four of five breaths I felt a warm, pleasant fuzzy, feeling, but this did not last long. The next thing I knew was a voice, echoing through space in my consciousness ‘Amy, Amy, Amy’ I resisted the voice. The oblivion I was in had been quite pleasant and a part of me didn’t want to come back to reality.
Eventually my consciousness wholly returned, and I awoke to find a woman sat next to me. I felt drowsy and spaced out. I noticed the clock, it said 10.45. The staff said I had been fighting them. I did not know what they meant by this and was too woozy to ask for more details, so god knows what I had done, hoping it meant I merely ignored them and went back to sleep when they tried to wake me, rather then physically attack them, but who knows. The doctor then came in and spoke to me and I said I really wanted a cup of tea. At that point I did really want a cup of tea and nothing else mattered to me. I believed the doctor chuckled at me, but in a warm manner when I said that.
They then pulled me on my bed back to the ward. A nurse brought me a cup of tea that I had been insisting on to have as I came too. Then another nurse tested my blood pressure every so often. I needed to go to the toilet and he helped me to stand up and kept an eye on me while I went to the toilet. I wanted to go home, but they had to keep testing my blood pressure.
while waiting I chatted to the women opposite me. She said she had had a double mastectomy. She had said she was lucky, she did not have to have chemotherapy and radiation; they had removed the cancer before it got too bad. She said if I needed anyone to talk anyone or needed complementary therapy, I could contact the Sara Lee Trust. Though unlikely, if a lump does come back positive, I now know I have someone to contact if something bad does happen.
The nurses offered me something to eat, I felt I could not stomach anything, but yoghurt, which I indulged in. They then gave me some socks which I must wear to prevent blood clots.
After about three or four hours which went by quite quickly, the nurse said I could go home. She gave me some stockings and walked me back to meet my Dad in the carpark, who duly drove me home.
I must wait two weeks to hear if they have found anything suspect from the lump.
Upon arriving home, I was very tired and spaced out, every day so far I feel very tired and run out of energy quickly.
What have I learned from this experience?
It was an odd experience. It is not the same as being asleep. When you have been asleep you might have dreams, or wake up, or have a degree more consciousness, but being under anaesthetic is like being dead. Or how I imagine death is. Just nothing. No sense of time, space, no memory, no dreams, nothing, oblivion. But nice as well, nothing to worry about because you basically do not exist. Then when you do wake up its like you have had a break from life, a sleep where even no dreams can reach you. Perhaps that is why I was ‘fighting’ the nurses. Oblivion has its own sweetness. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m glad I did wake up in the end!
All in all it was a good experience, and I’m not so scared of being hospitalised in the future if need be. The staff at the conquest hospital were pleasant, supportive and helpful. Its been two days since my operation and my wound had no pain at all!
I’m still waiting for my results from the hospital as to whether the lump contains cancer or not, so fingers crossed! I recommend that women, especially older women, frequently check their breasts for lumps.
Since writing this article, I received the good news that my lump was not cancerous! And the incision of the scar is barely noticeable now!
The NHS (2019) recommends you visit your GP if you notice
- ‘A change in the size or shape of one or both breasts
- Discharge from either of your nipples, which may be streaked with blood
- A lump or swelling in either of your armpits
- Dimpling on the skin of your breasts
- A rash on or around your nipple
- A change in the appearance of your nipple, such as becoming sunken into your breast.’
Its also important to get breast cancer screening done, and the NHS invites all women over the age of fifty for this.
References
NHS, 2019. Breast Cancer in Women. [Online]
Available at: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/breast-cancer/
[Accessed 28 07 2020].